Student Voice

My Journey to Faith in Jesus Christ
Nov 29, 03:02 PM
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The path I walked was not unlike many I have heard, but that doesn’t change how miraculous God can be to each individual. I grew up in a small working class community just outside of Lansing, Michigan. We lived out in the country with farm land all around us. My parents were both extremely hard working and very disciplined with their earnings, which really paid off for my brothers and me. They were able to give us everything that we needed and just about everything that we wanted. I can’t complain about a thing in regards to my childhood. I was blessed with two dedicated and loving parents. They have always come through for me when I needed them.

Unfortunately, life just can’t stay perfect for very long. You see, my two older brothers would soon change our family forever. My brother Bart was the middle child of the three of us. He was born with a lung disease called Cystic Fibrosis. Early in his life, he seemed to be affected little, at least through my eyes. You see, I was his little brother and we shared a room. I simply adored my brother and just wanted to be around him. He was the guy I looked up to and wanted to be just like him. He was also my best friend and we would spend hours playing together and would even stay up into all hours of the night just talking. He would tell me “choose your own adventure” style stories and let me pick the direction I wanted the story to go. I have very fond memories of that time, but that time was not to last. My brother was soon to grow weaker and weaker until he finally lost his battle at the age of fifteen, just after the New Year. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. This was my best friend, my confidant. We had shared a room and our lives together since the day I was born. To lose him was a great loss to me at the age of fourteen. Being so close in age meant that he was a part of who I was. I looked up to him, worshiped him, and now he was gone.

There wasn’t much the rest of the family could do really. They were lost in their own grief. My father simply withdrew into himself and tried to ignore what was happening and my mother slipped into a depression that would take years to come back from. Then we come to my oldest brother, Brooke. He had always struggled to fit in and be liked and struggled a lot with honesty, but when Bart died, his troubles became worse. I believe his grief drove him to experiment with things that none should mess with. I believe it was during this time that he began to dabble with homosexuality. He would not “come out” until his early twenties, but his personality and those he hung out with changed during this time. Unfortunately, due to this lifestyle choice my brother contracted HIV and lived with it for years without knowing it. When he was finally diagnosed, it had already worked its way to full blown AIDS.

We had no where to turn as a family. None of us had a relationship with God or even went to church. And so the one thing that would have given us such comfort and hope was overlooked. All that was left to do was to press on and try to forget. For me this meant trying to find a new identity, which came quickly from high school sports. I was a true “jock”. I wasn’t a terribly gifted athlete, but learned well from my father that hard work pays off; and it did. I became the captain of the football team and was known for my ability on the field. I never had to get into a fight in school because as a linebacker, most people were a little scared to take me on. Those who know me feel this is pretty funny, because off the field, I don’t have a mean bone in my body.

Although I had a great time competing in athletics, this did not fulfill this search for my true identity. I expanded my search now; however, not in the right directions. I turned to girls and unhealthy relationships, thinking that a woman in my life must be what was missing. I dated some for a matter of days and others for years. None of which could bring about this resolution I sought in my heart. In college, I turned to drinking and the party lifestyle. I even joined a fraternity for a sense of belonging; but again found no such resolution.

All of this would change however. I would finally find my resolution in a place that I had never thought to look, the local church! In all actuality, I didn’t look to the church on my own and probably wouldn’t have. God, of course, knew this and went about using people of influence in my life. I was attending Central Michigan University as an athletic training student. I was given a rotation with the Wrestling team, which basically means I was there to treat their injuries and make sure they stayed healthy. I was so excited because not only was wrestling a sport that you could gain a ton of experience with evaluating and treating injuries, but CMU’s wrestling team was also ranked in the top ten nationally.

My first day working with the team just happened to be during a tournament we were to be hosting. I was a little shell shocked, as there was a lot going on and I really didn’t know anyone yet. As I sat there watching the teams warm up, one of our top wrestlers, Casey, came up and just started a casual conversation with me. This was highly unusual as many talented athletes don’t have much to say to us students unless they need something, but this was not the case. He just wanted to get to know me, asking questions like “where are you from” and “what kind of things are you interested in”. It was not at all what I expected, but was a pleasant surprise. The more time I spent with Casey, the more I saw that there was something different about him. He seemed to have an inner peace or confidence about him, and he was always very polite and fair with his teammates. He was not one to talk inappropriately or join in with the gossip or relationship talk that his teammates seemed to talk about all the time. I could not place my finger on what it was that gave him the strength to be so, well, good.

We were on our way home from one of our many road trips when I overheard Casey inviting some of his teammates to church. This interested me quite a bit, and I sort of invited myself to join them the following Sunday. I walked into the church and was greeted by warm and friendly faces. I actually felt comfortable, as if I belonged there. I am sad to say that I have no recollection of what was taught on that Sunday, but what really struck me was the genuine nature in which everyone around me was worshiping God through song. This was something I had never seen before. I didn’t know there were people that really believed the way these people seemed to. To this day, that image is forever burned in my mind. It changed me to witness that. To witness the adoration they had for God. Someone I was not ready to embrace just yet, but let’s just say this perked my curiosity.

I began to think now that it must be Casey’s belief in God that made him so different from his teammates. I had to check this out for myself, so I began reading the Bible and spending more time with Casey and his Christian friends. I must have asked hundreds of questions in my attempt to grasp just what this Christianity stuff was all about. Casey was very patient with me and answered all of my questions, and tried his best to share with me his savior Jesus Christ. This was an individual I grew up knowing next to nothing about. I knew he died on a cross and that was why we celebrated Christmas, but what I didn’t know was why or what was the significance of his death. Casey told me very simply that Jesus was the son of the one and only God and that he was sent to this earth to live a perfect life, but to die a sinner’s death so that we didn’t have to. He said it was God’s way of bridging the barrier that sin places between us and God, allowing him to have the personal relationship he so desperately wants with us. It was through these conversations with Casey and a few others that I came to the realization that it was God that was missing from my life. It was Him and only Him that could fill this longing that I had had in my heart for so long. It wasn’t competition or girls or partying or schooling, it was God. It was God that made Casey different from many of the other people that I had met, and it was now God that used my respect for Casey to steer me towards himself. Thank God Casey was ready and willing to be used by God, or else my story could have been a tragic one.

It was a Tuesday night in March, at the age of twenty-one that I got down on me knees in my bedroom and confessed to God my need for Him. I told him that I had messed things up and that I had sinned and that I needed His forgiveness. I don’t know how to explain what happened next other than to say a weight was lifted from me and it seemed as if I was seeing the world I had lived in for twenty-one years for the first time.

That hole I had was now gone, and I was now left with a feeling of peace and contentment.

I wish I could say that once I gave my life to Christ that all of my problems faded away, but that would be dishonest. The truth is I continue to have difficult times in my life and know that I will have more in the future. The big difference now is that I have the Creator of the universe in my corner at all times, and no matter what life throws my way, I know that He can handle it. Today, I find my identity in my relationship with God. I am His Child. I know that even if I screw up that He loves me and wants the best for me. I continue to struggle daily as I strive to know my Lord and Savior on a more personal level. I hope that my journey to faith will be an encouragement to you and to your relationship with God.

— Brian Locke


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